Maybe I’ll be a Condom for Halloween…

29Oct08

The Receptionist is getting angry with me. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I last updated. My life has just been filled with work, booze, and general debauchery.
 
This past weekend wasn’t especially exciting. I may or may not have gone out to a house party Saturday night, after the bar. I may [...]

Filed under: I Should Be Embarassed..., What the boff?   |  2 Comments
Tags: balloon, bruises, childhood, condoms, drunk, dumpling, ezra pound, fable 2, falling, filth, gay, groping, halloween, halo, husband, lube, master chief, ninja, receptionist, sarah palin, steak n shake, syphilis, the bar, woody

At Least it’s Not Split Pea Soup…

17Oct08

So, y’all.
 
I don’t know why, but I really like typing the word “y’all” lately. I don’t say it. I would be allowed to say it, if I so wished, given my childhood in cornfields and backwoods…but I don’t.
 
ANYWAY.
 
Y’all…I think I might have the sickness again. Alexandria just got sick…again, for the second [...]

Filed under: That Time I Got Drunk, What the boff?   |  Leave a Comment
Tags: armani, bathrooms, bird flu, cold, disease, drinks, driving, hanukkah, hate, hats, host, michigan, sickness, singing, smoking, snot, snow, speed walking, texting, the bar, vomit, work, y'all

________ lickin’ good.

17Sep08

Fill in the Blank!
Ok! So hi! Anyway…I have a fun story for you all! (It’s true, more fun than rainbows. sort of.) So! I um…licked a…like, well a pornstar. This doesn’t happen just every day, to just anyone. The pornstar, yes, I’m sure he gets licked quite frequently. It’s kind of his job. I’m sure [...]

Filed under: That Time I Got Drunk   |  Leave a Comment
Tags: adoption, Asian, Bruce Lee, crouching tiger, drinks, gay, licking, Mexican, pornstar, Roman Heart, round house kick, squinty eyes, stomp the yard, the bar