Posts Tagged ‘sex’
White Stuff
I woke up late today. Why? I don’t know…one of my two alarms didn’t go off. But I wasn’t worried about being late…oh no. Being late doesn’t matter all that much. WHEN THE WORLD IS COVERED IN SNOW.
As I was waking up, Speedle shook me and said something like “Jesse! Snow! Lots of [...]
Filed under: What the boff?, work shmurk | 1 Comment
Tags: accidents, aflac, bella, deep conversations, drag queens, driving, edward, ice, insurance, japanese, lady part, michigan, penis, sex, snow, sparkles, sphincter, twilight, vampires, work
A Whole New Kind of Terrorism
I have a love/hate relationship with beds. Beds can be wonderful wonderful things, I will not deny this. They are great for things such as such as sleeping, relaxing, using as an extra shelf, sex, impromptu kitty beds. However, there is one main thing that I hate about beds, and that involves moving them.
See, [...]
Filed under: work shmurk | Leave a Comment
Tags: bed, computer, crash, denmark, india, mattress, monitors, moving, saw, sex, work
Play by Play and Childhood
Right. So.
That didn’t work.
The overtime, I mean.
So far today:
12:00am: cuddling with Speedle, watching The Office
12:37am: still cuddling. Still watching.
12:42am: my cat decides to leap from the coffee table to the love seat. He miscalculated the amount of force and the amount of traction his little padded feet [...]
Filed under: Family Fun Times, work shmurk | 1 Comment
Tags: amputee, blood, calvin and hobbes, car accident, childhood, cuddling, dad, dreams, jack bauer, jobs, kiefer sutherland, late, leo, mail man, milf, mom, overtime, planes, sex, sleep, the office, threesome, virginity, work
So, the votes are in!
I am going to be Woody (Toy Story) for Halloween!
I shopped for all of the necessary items on Wednesday, and let me tell you…that shopping trip was exhausting. I don’t think Homunculus (my car) liked getting turned on and off so many times.
Halloween USA should have had it all. [...]
Filed under: What the boff?, work shmurk | 1 Comment
Tags: 2xist, boots, cap guns, cash register, child, childhood, children, costumes, cowboy, gay sex, guns, halloween, halloween usa, hats, indian, jesus, laser guns, meijer, Mexican, mom, native american, nipple, pull, pull string, sex, shirtless, snake, the receptionist, tj maxx, torso, toy story, toys r us, ugly shirt, underwear, vest, woody
By Avo, I’m Good…
So…y’know how I lost my position as Best Boyfriend Ever? (see: Anagrams Smanagrams;)
Y’know how I’m now the Worst Boyfriend Ever?
Know who’s the new Best Boyfriend Ever?
Speedle is. That’s right.
So! I was sitting at work yesterday, one of three people in the office (for I work later than everyone else since I know how to [...]
Filed under: Speedle Antics, What the boff? | 1 Comment
Tags: beetles, calvin and hobbes, condoms, dog, engagement, expressions, fable, fable 2, fable II, gay, gay sex, gypsy, hot pants, magic, marriage, parallel, perpendicular, pregnancy, pregnant, puppy, ring, sex, silver platter, stds, thigh high boots, vido games, xbox 360
