Hi internet!
I have not (A) died (B) been kidnapped (C) gone to prison or (D) had my hands chopped off by the Israeli Mafia. None of these things have happened. I am just lazy.
And still! I feel like I have very little to update about. This weekend was spent consuming most [...]
Filed under: Family Fun Times, I Should Be Embarassed..., Speedle Antics
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Tags: Asian, bang, bodies, christmas, cigarettes, cologne, computers, deborah, dexter, ed hardy, english, israeli mafia, mac, Mexican, minivan, pc, presents, prison, racism, sociopath, spanish, the dark knight, titty, vampire, WoW
So, the votes are in!
I am going to be Woody (Toy Story) for Halloween!
I shopped for all of the necessary items on Wednesday, and let me tell you…that shopping trip was exhausting. I don’t think Homunculus (my car) liked getting turned on and off so many times.
Halloween USA should have had it all. [...]
Filed under: What the boff?, work shmurk
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Tags: 2xist, boots, cap guns, cash register, child, childhood, children, costumes, cowboy, gay sex, guns, halloween, halloween usa, hats, indian, jesus, laser guns, meijer, Mexican, mom, native american, nipple, pull, pull string, sex, shirtless, snake, the receptionist, tj maxx, torso, toy story, toys r us, ugly shirt, underwear, vest, woody
Fill in the Blank!
Ok! So hi! Anyway…I have a fun story for you all! (It’s true, more fun than rainbows. sort of.) So! I um…licked a…like, well a pornstar. This doesn’t happen just every day, to just anyone. The pornstar, yes, I’m sure he gets licked quite frequently. It’s kind of his job. I’m sure [...]
Filed under: That Time I Got Drunk
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Tags: adoption, Asian, Bruce Lee, crouching tiger, drinks, gay, licking, Mexican, pornstar, Roman Heart, round house kick, squinty eyes, stomp the yard, the bar
