Bodily Fluids and My Childhood

17Dec08

I don’t feel so good right now. Physically, I mean. For reasons unknown to me, I ended up waking up in the middle of the night and had to run to the bathroom so I could violently heave up the expensive Italian dinner I had eaten hours before. There is no conceivable reason though, that [...]

Filed under: Family Fun Times, What the boff?, work shmurk   |  3 Comments
Tags: algebra, astrophysics, biology, brother, dinner, dreams, easter, elbows, etiquette, expensive, grandma, grandpa, ground hog day, heave, italian, mummy, murderer, peter cottontail, ramen, shortcut, sleep, speech impediment, stories, the birds and the bees, uppercut, vomit

Not In the Whole Wide Bed…

26Nov08

Remember that time I said I have the largest, most comfortablest bed in the whole most widest world?

Well it’s true!

The last two nights, I have been absolutely comatose in my sleep. Well, minus the weird dreams where I’m trapped in someone’s sexual castle and must escape while saving my friends, simultaneously fighting [...]

Filed under: What the boff?, work shmurk   |  1 Comment
Tags: Add new tag, bed, cubicle, dreams, dreary, email, ex, funny, gray, office, thanksgiving, the receptionist, typing, witty, work

Play by Play and Childhood

12Nov08

Right. So.

That didn’t work.

The overtime, I mean.

So far today:

12:00am: cuddling with Speedle, watching The Office

12:37am: still cuddling. Still watching.

12:42am: my cat decides to leap from the coffee table to the love seat. He miscalculated the amount of force and the amount of traction his little padded feet [...]

Filed under: Family Fun Times, work shmurk   |  1 Comment
Tags: amputee, blood, calvin and hobbes, car accident, childhood, cuddling, dad, dreams, jack bauer, jobs, kiefer sutherland, late, leo, mail man, milf, mom, overtime, planes, sex, sleep, the office, threesome, virginity, work