White Stuff

24Nov08

I woke up late today. Why? I don’t know…one of my two alarms didn’t go off. But I wasn’t worried about being late…oh no. Being late doesn’t matter all that much. WHEN THE WORLD IS COVERED IN SNOW.

As I was waking up, Speedle shook me and said something like “Jesse! Snow! Lots of [...]

Filed under: What the boff?, work shmurk   |  1 Comment
Tags: accidents, aflac, bella, deep conversations, drag queens, driving, edward, ice, insurance, japanese, lady part, michigan, penis, sex, snow, sparkles, sphincter, twilight, vampires, work

The Post That Took Over Time (but not space)

10Nov08

Dear Innernet,

We have much to talk about. I’ll go first.

I have officially reclaimed my status as Best Boyfriend Ever. This is cause for great celebration. Possibly a parade. Or a fancy hat at the least.

I’m going to try and run through all the events of the last weekend in chronological order. (please [...]

Filed under: Speedle Antics, That Time I Got Drunk   |  1 Comment
Tags: 21st birthday, Alexandria, ass, bar, best boyfriend ever, butt sex, cab, candy, chinese buffet, cock, cold, cute, dick, drag queens, drama, drunk, dumb straight guy, exotic, gay, glue, ipod, Jayda, licking, life, love, picture, picture frame, presents, resse's, sexy, shots, shoulder, snow, speedle, strangers, suck, superman, wine

Why I Should Have Gone Before I Left.

03Oct08

Woah, hey. Hi. How are you?
Oh, I’m fine, thanks.
Did you think i had abandoned this? If so, you’re wrong.
This last week or so has been, interesting. I could go into detail, but right now…don’t feel like it. SO. Instead, I’ll give you the skinny version of what has happened in my life recently.

Was used as [...]

Filed under: I Should Be Embarassed...   |  1 Comment
Tags: butterflies, coke, crying, drag queens, drunk, flushed away, hot, hot pants, hot pocket, jealous, lube, nipple, phone, pilot, racism, sewers, snorting, sparkles, toilet