The Sick and the Sappy

18Feb09

 
Oh shit…I’b thick. I’b tho thick. I can’d dop deezing.
 
This…kind of sucks. My voice sounds like Barry Manilow if he were wearing that nose cap that Rudolph’s dad made him wear to hide his red nose.
 
Essentially: I sound like Henry Kissinger.
 
Needless to say, taking phone calls at work has been an absolute blast
 
Phone: rrrrrrRRIIINNNNGG!
 
Self: Good [...]

Filed under: Speedle Antics, That Time I Got Drunk, work shmurk   |  1 Comment
Tags: bulls head, cold, dinner, love, martini, sick, sneeze, tre cugini, valentine's day, work, xo

In Which I Shamelessly Plug Myspace…and Pizza Hut.

19Nov08

Oh…my…god.

I can’t work right now, people. I just…so…frustrated.

Cuz know what? People are stupid.

Not us, others.

So, instead of talking about work and stupid people that can’t understand that if you don’t have the right policy number, then you REALLY CAN’T BILL STUFF and you REALLY REALLY SHOULDN’T DO IT ANYWAY FOR YOU [...]

Filed under: Speedle Antics, work shmurk   |  1 Comment
Tags: beginnings, breadsticks, cold, dating, freezing, gay sex, gin, hot in here, jade empire, jenny owen youngs, myspace, nelly, pasta, pizza hut, relationships, sky, the bird and the bee, three pounds, video games

The Post That Took Over Time (but not space)

10Nov08

Dear Innernet,

We have much to talk about. I’ll go first.

I have officially reclaimed my status as Best Boyfriend Ever. This is cause for great celebration. Possibly a parade. Or a fancy hat at the least.

I’m going to try and run through all the events of the last weekend in chronological order. (please [...]

Filed under: Speedle Antics, That Time I Got Drunk   |  1 Comment
Tags: 21st birthday, Alexandria, ass, bar, best boyfriend ever, butt sex, cab, candy, chinese buffet, cock, cold, cute, dick, drag queens, drama, drunk, dumb straight guy, exotic, gay, glue, ipod, Jayda, licking, life, love, picture, picture frame, presents, resse's, sexy, shots, shoulder, snow, speedle, strangers, suck, superman, wine

At Least it’s Not Split Pea Soup…

17Oct08

So, y’all.
 
I don’t know why, but I really like typing the word “y’all” lately. I don’t say it. I would be allowed to say it, if I so wished, given my childhood in cornfields and backwoods…but I don’t.
 
ANYWAY.
 
Y’all…I think I might have the sickness again. Alexandria just got sick…again, for the second [...]

Filed under: That Time I Got Drunk, What the boff?   |  Leave a Comment
Tags: armani, bathrooms, bird flu, cold, disease, drinks, driving, hanukkah, hate, hats, host, michigan, sickness, singing, smoking, snot, snow, speed walking, texting, the bar, vomit, work, y'all